Happy Mother’s Day to the beautiful Mothers, Step-Mothers, Mother-in-Laws, Grandmothers, Aunties and Mommy-to-be’s!Three posts in one week. Crazy! Guess there has been a lot of things on my mind now that I feel that I got the swing of this mom gig for now, of course.
There are things I wished I had thought about before I had Samantha. Looking back over the last nine months with her, I just wanted to smack a bit of my [9-10 month ago] self, but life is all a learning process, isn’t it?
- Don’t tackle things you are not 110% devoted to: If you read NutritiouslySweet.com, you’ll remember that I signed up for a yoga certification. I was about 80% invested, to be honest. I wanted to do it, I was ready to get back into my yoga practice (hadn’t yet). I spent money on a certification (mostly online) and was doing the work little by little. Nausea and exhaustion really kicked in a month before she was born and I just couldn’t study. I said to myself “once she’s two months, I’ll start scheduling study days.” It worked for a few weeks, then I fell off. I was trying to build my work schedule back up with clients and classes [plus raise a baby and take care of my family] and I literally could not do everything at 110% capacity. I wanted my main focus to be on Samantha and family then work, house stuff, etc. Little by little studying went from three times a week, to one and down to none. Here I am a little over nine months postpartum and I haven’t practiced or studied since October. Sure there are plenty of folks who can do it, but the key is the investment; if you are NOT truly invested, you won’t succeed.
- Don’t be afraid to say NO: Raising a family is not easy, nor is being a first time mom with our family being 45 minutes- 3 hours away (I know others have it worse). At least I work at a place dedicated to moms, so the majority could relate to what I was going through. As I mentioned in #1, I was trying to build my work schedule full of clients and classes. Every time someone asked for something I said “yes” because I wanted to appear the best and hard-working. What ended up happening? I burnt out when Samantha was about seven months old, the same time my Grandfather passed away. I was mentally [and physically] drained. Little by little I tried to cut back on a class or two and said NO when people asked for coverage. I had ZERO days off and no consistency for Samantha. Not to mention I was horrible to be around. Don’t get me wrong, money is important to raise a family, but if you are not at your best, you are doing no one a favor.
- Everyone’s judging! Smile, nod and say fuck you: In your head of course, unless someone is really just rude and disrecptful. I know I have people look at me when Samanatha is eating a piece of white bread that was a free sample but it’s soothing her teeth since she’s in pain. Or when she’s wearing short sleeves while I wear long but she is literally an over-heating human like her dad. Or when I gave her formula starting at one month old because I literally could not do breast feed 24/7. Let’s be real… we live in a modern society. We CANNOT do things 110% (remember that?) as we did during our ancestors. We have modern technology to help us with so many things. It it wasn’t for half of the store made things, I would have lost my mind! She doesn’t wear the expensive clothes, yes I will buy fifty cent jeans for her at Walmart. She has plenty of “hammy” down toys from friends and we can’t always afford to go to baby classes all the time.
At the end of the day what matters is the amount of love you give your child. There is no need for people to give you that “look.” I don’t give anyone that “look.” There are plenty of things I don’t agree with or care for that other parents do but EVERYONE is allowed to do what they feel is best. Their best is not what I think is best and that’s OKAY.
I hope everyone has a wonderful day. There are going to be plenty of things over the course of my motherhood journey that I will look back on and say “what was I thinking.” For now, these things really stand out and recognizing them is allowing me to feel less stressed and provide some constancy, not only for Samantha and my family but for my life too.